已经找不到任何理由。。。

就如让信漂在海里，在绝望之中给自己希望，当得不到回应时，我漠然的笑了。。。

任何人不会了解我，也不须要了解，也没有这个必要。。。
连我的言语都不能明白，何况是我的心声呢。。我不敢奢望。。害怕再次失望，而断然的绝望。

If one day I stop Smiling....

If one day I stop smiling, people will say this is not me ... How many of them actually realise the true me ... sensitive and fragile ..not as happy go lucky as they think nor evrything is okay ... People always wana see the side they wana see, and well ignore the dark side but clearly they know the simple principle that evrything has a shadow..
Sometimes its not that I dont use my brain, but most of the time I chose to shut it off when I start to think more or just merely DONT wana THINK. WHY? Its just me . you never oen to know how 1 simpel thing I can think of it as such a complicated stuff and end up emo-ing the whole day .

By the way I m thinking to get a holiday off and nto deferring my NS , I guess my brain ened a break ..the bear need to sleep liow la .. This probly my answer for my 1st post then but this itme I hope i m not gona be awaken too soon.
Well, how many people actually knows that any random words from their mouth even it seems so insignificant can hurt people like me ( the ones who look liek tak apa apa people) ... Well, if I said I don mind or I say I m IMMUNE to it ..its a lie... Aiya, think of it la ... which human can really tak apa de... WELL NEVAMIND... this is just up for me to think ...
I just wonder if I ever drift too far away, will anyone pull me back? or just elt me fll from the cliff and sing AMAZING GRAZE at my funeral =)

WIll my snow end?

As time pass, i started to wonder whether am i comfortable with my little fragile snow world. After letting myself asleep for 3 years, i woke up lost and missing. It seems that I m so far away from reality , no longer belong there ... How I wish I will be one of the lost and found item ..unfortunately it seems that the owner is still lost .. well the item remained unfound.... Hmm... ''how will my life carry on if this continue? '' a stupid but realistic question that i just thought of recently.. well it is really a simply question .... and of course a simple answer to it ... but its the decision that is hard ... to end my snow world and to face the real world with a beautifully carved mask ? Or just continue asleep that what i have done for years ...

Well, I realise there 2 types of people, 1 who chose to stand at the beach n look at the waves goes up and down, quietly and peacefully. But the other who prefer to put themself in the sea, feeling the up and downs of the wave . Thats not just a matter of courage, but how strong can you stand at the same spot in the sea after the wave hitting you hard and push you away.

I guess life is full of question mark ..and some question just let u wonder on n on ... I guess

thats enough for today ..think so much for what la... haiz just let my poor little rest in peace ba ... I hope and i wish my final wish will be answered as soon as possible . = ) .